See You Soon: In the Face of Uncertainty

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"Goodbyes are not forever, Goodbyes are not the end; it simply means I'll miss you until we meet again."~Unknown

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July 30th, 2018, the day my life came crashing down. As the morning drew close and I had still yet to sleep I knew the inevitable day was finally here. Turning to the window of my room, I watched as the sky got lighter and lighter. The sun rising as I wished for it to, just this once, not give way to another day. Silent tears fell down my face. I tried hard not to make a sound trying not to wake the sleeping people in the apartment. Two individuals that made leaving all that much harder and the tears to fall in abundance. Not being able to handle much more of my thoughts I got up and decided to shower, after all, tears are just water in the shower-- right?

Unfortunately, the shower ended too quickly, the sun rose too swiftly and the dreaded time was finally here. The first goodbye wasn't too hard. We kept it short but inside I was breaking. I didn't want him to know so I held it in. As he walked away, all the regret regarding things I had yet to say consumed me.

Then there were two. Sarah. We tried not to cry but the minute that car was started and rolling down the street towards the airport, the floodgates opened. Neither of us could stop crying and I began to hate myself even more, after all, this was all my fault.

The airport wasn't any better. We were fine while sorting out the luggage and getting them checked but as soon as we got to the security line it became even harder to go our separate ways. We hugged, we cried, we made promises.

Promises that I was not certain would be fulfilled.

A few days later I came upon a quote that has helped me to make peace with my situation and gave me a renewed fight to find my way back.

"When nothing is sure, everything is possible."~Unknown

This quote restored my hope. It gave me the drive to continue searching for an option. Instead of sitting at home crying and feeling sorry for myself I've actively perused option after option. I no longer had the time to be miserable. Instead, I had a purpose, a hope, a dream.

"When the world says 'give up', hope whispers... 'try it one more time'"~Unknown